you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
