Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
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