best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
3 2 1 whiskey
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
