been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
