Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
