well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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