hell yes lets make some ravioli
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
We are two peas in an std pod
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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