Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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