: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
