you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize