I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
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