I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
