I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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