I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
