weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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