Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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