call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
