well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I forgot how hot balto sounded
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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