1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
