Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
