Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I love having hate sex.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
