The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
