I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
