i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize