four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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