hotel room ftw
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
