Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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