Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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