Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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