Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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