we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
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