super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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