okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Randomize
