Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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