Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
