I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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