If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
