was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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