I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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