First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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