I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize