so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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