It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
