Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Randomize
