Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
