love makes seman taste better
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
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