So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
