I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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