I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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