How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
