"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
