Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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