waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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