We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
