Buhtt sex?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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