i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I just gargled with NyQuil
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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