she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
