do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
is wine microwaveable?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I think a kid would responsible me up
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
