Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
farters have to be the big spoon...
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
