I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
