don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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