How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
