ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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