I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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