The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
