Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
It all started with a game of naked twister.
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