Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
