First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
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