hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
