I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I've blown a few things in my day
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
