I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
