Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Everything about him screamed your future.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
